Homunculus Christmas
by Disintegrating Vortex
Summary: The homunculi discover the true meaning of Christmas! Sort of. Silly, sweet, and just a tad sentimental. Enjoy!


DISCLAIMER: I do not own these homunculi! O.o

-**Homunculus Christmas-**

_by Gloria Monday_

"What... the HELL is this?!" exploded Envy, pulling from the wrapping a pair of dark green socks.

"Try them on," Sloth suggested, amused. The other homunculi added their encouragement. Envy grumbled, but obeyed, pulling the covers off his feet and slipping the socks on. Everyone leaned forward to admire them.

"Why, Envy, you've got dainty little feet- just like Cinderella!" Lust stuck out her boot to compare. Growling a bit at the obvious gender jab, Envy replied sharply with a surreptitious straightening of his skirt.

"Just because you've got monstrously HUGE feet doesn't mean we all have to!"

But Lust shrugged off the insult. Leaning back to quaff her glass of eggnog, she murmured,

"Ah, you're just jealous 'cos you can't fit my boots."

There was a loud crunching noise. Eyes landed on Greed, who had just put three cookies simultaneously in his mouth.

"Geez, Greed, leave some for the rest of us!" Envy said meaningfully.

"I'm just -munch- trying to get my -crunch- fair share in before -mrph- Gluttony gets at 'em!" Greed reasoned in self-defense, though the effect was rather spoiled by his mouth bulging visibly. He swallowed, adding,

"Hey, these are pretty good."

"Thank you. I _can_ cook, you know," said Sloth with just a hint of ice in her water-smooth voice.

"When you're not being lazy!" Greed cackled, reaching for his drink.

Sloth narrowed her eyes and reached forward to slap him, her arm liquefying as it extended past normal human reach. Sploop! Her arm shed globlets of water as it smacked the obnoxious homunculus. One glob landed in Greed's cup, hissing.

"Ew, what is this now, Essence of Sloth?" complained Greed. But he raised it to his mouth anyway, swallowing it in one large gulp and letting out a belch.

"Ugh," Lust turned her head away from the man she was sitting next to. Then she asked, "So where is Gluttony, anyway? He should have found the cookies by now..."

"Making good cookies is not the least of my culinary talents," Sloth replied cryptically, pointing behind the couch where Gluttony was occupied with the fruitcake.

Wrath fidgeted, unused to sitting still for so long. At last he burst out,

"Let's do a puzzle!"

The remaining sins gave him strange looks. Undaunted, he jumped up and ran over to one of the piles of gifts and wrappings. Returning, he opened the box and dumped the pieces onto the rug in front of the fire.

"Yowtch!" cried Envy, diving to the side to avoid being buried by the flood of small cardboard shapes. "How big is this thing, anyway?"

"Let's see..." replied Lust, who had retrieved the flying lid. "It says... '5,555 unique pieces'."

While Wrath dived into the pile with a happy squeak, Envy leaned over to peer at the box lid in Lust's lap.

"A map of the 5th laboratory, huh? How appropriate..." he said darkly.

"C'mon, guys! Help me out!" enthused Wrath. Envy sighed, but joined the younger homunculus in sorting through the pieces. Sloth looked over, offering hints.

Lust and Greed seemed to be engaged in some sort of bizarre drinking match. The normally cool and composed woman was giggling wildly, and as for Greed... well, it's best not to say.

The puzzle was taking definite shape in front of them, and Envy found that Wrath wasn't _quite_ as annoying as he'd thought before. Sloth smiled down at the two boys working together before her as the fire flickered.

"Hm... it's too bad Pride isn't here with us," she mused.

Envy looked up. "He's got his own family to be with tonight, you know," he reminded her.

"Oh, I know, it's just..." Sloth trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.

"I want to meet Pride's son Salem sometime," Wrath said suddenly, surprising them.

"Whatever for, bratling?" Envy asked, cuffing Wrath's shoulder playfully. The smallest homunculus shrugged and said no more.

Meanwhile, Gluttony had finally gotten the fruitcake past his mouth, only to find it gave him terrible indigestion. And the night wore on.

Hours later, Sloth and Envy were the only ones still up. Greed and Lust were snoring, slumped together and looking oddly... cute. They'd pay for their night of fun in the morning, however. Wrath was curled up possessively on top of the completed puzzle, his head at Sloth's feet. The fire had died down to glowing embers, and Envy stretched out in front of them. He glanced up at Sloth. She was snuggled down in her armchair, and he couldn't tell if her eyes were open or not.

"Sloth-" he whispered, trying not to wake anyone. Her head moved.

"Yes?" she replied softly.

"Well, I've been thinking." Envy stopped and frowned. "I had lots of fun tonight, and I didn't kill anyone! I mean, I didn't even get to smack any humans around, but... I'm feeling really happy inside."

She looked bemused- at least, as far as he could tell in the dim light.

"So, because of this, you think there's something wrong with you?"

"Well... yeah. Because we're homunculi. Sins. Evil. And here I am, being all wholesome and good!"

"Don't worry about it. Don't you think, as wicked as we are, that there has to be a time when we take a break and do good? One day in a year?"

"Well... maybe."

He still wasn't convinced. She continued.

"Even saints sin, Envy. So why should it be any different for us- the sins?"

Envy remained silent. Then he said, so quietly Sloth could barely hear,

"It almost feels like we're a family."

Sloth said nothing to this. What could she say? The next day would be back to normal, back to killing and hurting and sinning. But if this night, no, the feeling that came with it could be made to last forever...

"Goodnight, Envy."

He didn't answer. Maybe he was already asleep. She settled a bit more in the cushions and dozed off.

NOTES:

Is this really the end? I have no idea. Maybe it can be continued...

Oh, yes, and... please review! I'm sure you're sick of people begging, but it would mean a lot! xP


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